Because I’m So Good Natured

This post is for my little brother (AKA Uncle Bubba).

A couple weekends ago, when Uncle Bubba (UB) was in town hanging out at our house, and I was really hot, grouchy, and generally unfit for human company, I stalked off to the bedroom to nap away my bad mood, while K entertained herself with tormenting UB.  FF was out running errands.

Now honestly, I don’t know why I was in such a bad mood but it was one of those epic, fire-breathing, don’t LOOK AT ME SO LOUD kind of moods. 

FF came home while I was napping, and paused by the bedroom but didn’t come in to chat.  I was sort of dozing–aware that he was home but not really awake enough to initiate conversation.  Awhile later, I woke up, even crankier than before.  Poor, poor FF had no idea what was coming for him.

CM: I thought you were going to come wake me up and talk to me.  (my inner hateful, illogically angry crone was just starting to come out).

FF: you were sleeping…I didn’t want to bother you.

CM: I was not! I was just dozing and waiting for you.

FF: um, dear, you were snoring.  You were sound asleep.

CM: I WAS NOT and I THOUGHT you were going to come talk to me!

(rapidly assessing the situation and seeing the neurotic psycopath eyes, he started emergency verbal maneuvers)

FF: sorry, I just didn’t want to bother you…you looked very tired…

CM: I was not tired, just grouchy and waiting for you!

FF: why are you so upset?

CM: I have no idea!  did you find the sandwich I ordered for you? it was on the kitchen counter.

FF: (warily) I saw it but wasn’t sure whose it was so I made something else for lunch.

CM: geez, you could have asked someone! (snarl)

FF: uh, you were sleeping…

CM: SO?  (snarl)

(yeah, the fact that he didn’t find the sandwich actually made me even more irrationally angry.  For.no.good.reason.  And honestly, there really was nothing wrong that day, other than I was just uncontrollably grouchy and every single turn of conversation made me angrier and more hostile.)

He looked rather like a rabbit pinned into an inescapable corner by a big, angry, wolf with PMS.  I grumbled incoherently to myself for a few minutes and then removed myself to go back in the bedroom and seethe with irritation for a couple more hours.  UB stayed FAR away from that whole scene and did his best to remain invisible.

The next day, I was restored to my normal cheerful, friendly, happy self.   Like nothing ever happened.  I was talking to my mom and mentioned my inexplicable hostility of the day before, and said something like “yeah I don’t know why I was so grumpy, because generally I’m so good natured and happy.”    FF wisely stayed silent.  UB choked, sputtered and has not let the issue drop ever since. 

Next time, I’m coming for you, dude. 

(for the record, I really am a nice, kind, and loving wife most of the time.  Right honey??)