Category Archives: huh?
Only a Week Behind
Well, as stated in the last post, my spring semester goal was to try and hit one post a week. I figured that even if I couldn’t blog to the extent I’d prefer, at least a structured schedule would give me that little bit of disciplined stability I crave. And then….yeah. So the first part of this semester is dedicated to jamming out the formal proposal paper for my capstone applied project…yes, that same unholy beast that kept me awake many a night over holiday break. I have a psuedo-clear picture in my mind of what it will entail now, but the realization of said plan turned a little more complicated than I expected, so I have spent the last couple weeks freaking out (a lot), completing a human-subjects research training course, and filing a ton of internal review board (IRB) applications. WTF? Very confusing stuff, and nothing I originally expected to need for this process, but hopefully it will yield some delicious professional fruit down the road. Hard to say right now.
Anywho, I have to be honest and also say that lately my down time / entertainment mechanism has shifted away from favorite DVR’d shows due to waning interest on my part, the cancellation of a couple favorites (Medium, RIP. I may never recover from the trauma of your series finale episode. sob.), and of course general lack of time. So, what other activity fills the late-night need to detox from textbooks, research designs, evaluation instruments, and pretend play with the five year old genius? Why yes, internet, I have resumed MMORPGing with FF on a limited basis. It’s brainless in real-world terms, but demands more immersion and interaction than TV, and diverts my brain from other stresses better than books. And I go through books too quickly to keep enough new material around anyway. (One of my longtime fantasies is a deserted island with nice weather, a sturdy hammock, and a VIP comped Amazon account.)
So how to close a post with little to no substance or topical organization? Why, with pictures of course. Who doesn’t like fresh(ish) pictures?
A cute Vegas pic, post-M&M world visit. Everyone say hi to the random drunk people in the backdrop.
Beautiful ballerina! She loves getting all girl-ified for dance class. ONLY for dance class.
We scored the cutest baby penguin chick you ever saw at Target! The penguin family is happily expanding.
Barber shop time, Dad! The awesome irony is when you observe how horrifyingly messy her own head is.
She has been diligently trying to master the fine art of bubble blowing.
In Exile: Day 1
Dear loved ones, friends, and rest of the Internet,
My professional captors have escalated. They have exiled me from my prior holdings (a secure, pleasantly isolated office) in favor of General Population (AKA the cube farm). They attempted to secure Good Behavior from me, by providing the incentive of “a new computer workstation“. However, I should have known it was a sham designed to avoid prisoner misconduct. “New computer workstation” turned out to be recycled / reconfigured beast of a machine with insufficient RAM to simultaneously run the operating system and the minimum 5 or 6 programs that I need open at all times, in order to pay my debt to society. One would think that high-intensity tech-user captives would be given the appropriate equipment to do their work, but alas – not to be. But at least the monitor is big and shiny.
I am being subjected daily to two forms of sensory torture: blinding morning sunshine that causes a migraine-inducing glare on New Computer Workstation, no matter which way it is angled, and profoundly distracting noise pollution such that I am beginning to actually HEAR the thoughts forming inside other General Population captives. I admit that I am overly sensitive to the noise aspect (late-life development of attention deficit disorder? side effect of motherhood?), and it isn’t a reflection of abnormal habits or actions on the part of the other captives. They, like me, have little control over their destiny in this place.
My only real consolation is that I brought my condom tree, neon flamingo lamp, and a few other outward touches of eccentricity to General Population holdings. I may be an exiled captive, but I still have balls (metaphorically speaking).
If I should ever find a way to smuggle this prison diary out, PLEASE SEND HELP.
Sincerely,
Exiled worker
Some Awesome Recent Search Traffic
Here are some search engine terms that recently brought traffic to this blog, and which amuse me to no end (hey – gotta take my laughs where I can get them these days…):
- bacteria for kids – Any particular strain you want? I’ll see your streptococcus and raise you 2 staphylococcus.
- scared duck – Does that make it taste better?
- demonic elmo – Well, he is naturally kind of demonic, yes…..
- “ducktape” – Buahahahaaha!
- make people feel important do it sincere – As opposed to insincerely making people feel important?
- dead possum and bacon – YUM! I know this blog has the word “DINNER” in it, but I swear I have never eaten possum.
And the number one search term in the history of this site, with thousands of hits and links…..is…..
drumroll….
WILDEBEEST!
(guess my random analogy really paid off that day!)
Administrative Support
Confession time!
I think I need to hire a secretary for my four-year-old. Or would executive assistant be more appropriate?
I always thought that parental complaints about organizing the schedules of your dear offspring were nothing more than self-absorbed puffery. AND THEN, as is true in so much of my personal parenting history, I was confronted with reality. Surprise! The turning of the seasons/semesters bring with it a huge rush of insane jockeying to get everything scheduled, paid, organized and account for all the secondary details to boot. Honestly, even though as a parent, you do all this work to ensure the happiness and health of your child, there’s no denying the fact that all this tedious administrative work is a real pain in the ass!
And lest anyone perk up here and ask why I don’t share the burden with my spouse…well…it is no reflection on his abilities but rather my pathological need to control certain organizational aspects of life. It’s the same drive that makes me jealously guard the right to organize (control?) the garage storage shelves, the linen closets, and our bookshelf.
So the logic follows that I basically do this to myself, and it makes me nuts, but I can’t seem to let go. Sounds like a cry for (pharmacological) help to me! Anyway, I think the most annoying part is that it requires phone calls. (Synchronous communication technologies…yuck!) I’m not phobic about phones or anything but I absolutely HATE calling people I don’t know. Clearly, I was never cut out to be a cold-call marketer. Not to mention the awkwardness of trying to fit in all those calls during business hours.
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com
