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Tired of Seeing Jul 7
Just stopping by to assure the breathlessly waiting public that I am, in fact, still alive. A combination of computer ennui, fall-semester-insanity and related follies have kept me from substantive posting. But hey, I got the site redesign started so…hey…that’s something, right? RIGHT?
So, how about a 1 minute family update to keep us all engaged? Ready, set, GO:
Little genius started kindergarten on August 1st. After some heinous mental/emotional breakdowns (on my part), her launch seems to be fairly successful so far. And wouldn’t you know it, the hippie school called YESTERDAY to offer us a spot. Sigh.
My brains are burnt out on work craziness, summer hell temperatures, and the hunt for some sidebar contract work to supplement our income. Right now, I live for the occasional Antiques Roadshow episode and/or even rarer late afternoon nap.
FF is suffering through a bout of bronchitis, courtesy of the little genius bringing home a cold bug from school within the first 2 weeks of the semester. Awesome.
Well, that’s about it for the 1 minute update. MORE SOON!
Emerging From the Cave
Well hello, WordPress…seems you’ve kept yourself busy with sprucing up your features and interface lately. Cool, and just in time for me to do that long-promised blog overhaul. Maybe next week.
See, I have barely emerged from the cave-like existence of graduate school and it is taking some time for me to regain lost mental footing. These days, I struggle with remembering to eat breakfast let alone tackle mentally-intensive tasks like writing or website design.
Stating that I’m “relieved to be done” merely scratches the surface of where I’m at in my post-graduate cogitations, however I do find myself grappling a bit with the change in identity…can’t slap that “grad student” label around willy-nilly anymore. Which honestly feels a little strange. And maybe more than a smidge terrifying, when I think about student loan repayment schedules and whatnot (trying not to hyperventilate here).
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/123004/
But at the end of the day, it is a tremendous accomplishment and something that for a long time, I abstractly believed would never end. The forward momentum required to initiate this degree and stick out some of the tougher moments while simultaneously wading through full-time career work, the parental mysteries of toddlerhood and preschool, and periodic bouts of crippling insomnia and grief-related depression. Anyway, lest I begin to verge upon the sorry state of “wallowing”, the reality is that I am one of the lucky ones…I had a lot going for me such as work-related tuition reduction, a supportive immediate and extended family network, and fantabulous colleagues I could draw on for expertise and assistance. Nor did I have to write a thesis, take advanced statistics, or wade through any disgusting math classes. So all in all, a smashing success, even if I am mentally toasted and emotionally wiped out.
Anyway, all the naval-gazing aside, last weekend we had a little family get together (with the generous help of Gmom and UB–many thanks!) at our house to celebrate graduation and also K’s first dance recital (another delightful future post in the barrel…stay tuned!). It had the positive side-effect of motivating us to clean the house to a semi-reasonable state and tackle some long-ignored projects (packing away 18 months worth of outgrown little-genius clothing, anyone?). The day was so lovely, filled with laughter, fun and a zillion kids running around like electrocuted cats [that is--noisily bouncing off the walls]. The weather was even “relatively” reasonable, at a mere 95° with a wispy periodic breeze. I’m more grateful than words can express for all the support and love.
So onward and upward…in the short term hopefully to some side-contracted instructional design work, or possibly some adjunct teaching; in the longer term hopefully a position upgrade with my current employer or barring that, a reasonably painless and successful job search.
Or there is always….
Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Only a Week Behind
Well, as stated in the last post, my spring semester goal was to try and hit one post a week. I figured that even if I couldn’t blog to the extent I’d prefer, at least a structured schedule would give me that little bit of disciplined stability I crave. And then….yeah. So the first part of this semester is dedicated to jamming out the formal proposal paper for my capstone applied project…yes, that same unholy beast that kept me awake many a night over holiday break. I have a psuedo-clear picture in my mind of what it will entail now, but the realization of said plan turned a little more complicated than I expected, so I have spent the last couple weeks freaking out (a lot), completing a human-subjects research training course, and filing a ton of internal review board (IRB) applications. WTF? Very confusing stuff, and nothing I originally expected to need for this process, but hopefully it will yield some delicious professional fruit down the road. Hard to say right now.
Anywho, I have to be honest and also say that lately my down time / entertainment mechanism has shifted away from favorite DVR’d shows due to waning interest on my part, the cancellation of a couple favorites (Medium, RIP. I may never recover from the trauma of your series finale episode. sob.), and of course general lack of time. So, what other activity fills the late-night need to detox from textbooks, research designs, evaluation instruments, and pretend play with the five year old genius? Why yes, internet, I have resumed MMORPGing with FF on a limited basis. It’s brainless in real-world terms, but demands more immersion and interaction than TV, and diverts my brain from other stresses better than books. And I go through books too quickly to keep enough new material around anyway. (One of my longtime fantasies is a deserted island with nice weather, a sturdy hammock, and a VIP comped Amazon account.)
So how to close a post with little to no substance or topical organization? Why, with pictures of course. Who doesn’t like fresh(ish) pictures?
A cute Vegas pic, post-M&M world visit. Everyone say hi to the random drunk people in the backdrop.
Beautiful ballerina! She loves getting all girl-ified for dance class. ONLY for dance class.
We scored the cutest baby penguin chick you ever saw at Target! The penguin family is happily expanding.
Barber shop time, Dad! The awesome irony is when you observe how horrifyingly messy her own head is.
She has been diligently trying to master the fine art of bubble blowing.
Once More into the Fray
Nothing really world-shattering over here, so please don’t be looking for bloggy brilliance today. Just a super quick update / mea culpa [while I wait for pizza delivery - haha] before the insanity of My Last Semester of Grad School overtakes me and sucks out my brains. This is somewhat of a follow-up to the “survival” post, but yes, I am still feeling pretty anxious, overwhelmed, and hella burnt-out. Unfortunately I was not struck by any major academic epiphanies during the break, despite many sleepless nights laying in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to plan things out and avoid full-blown panic attacks. However, I did mentally work out a rough set of project plans (sexy they are NOT); for our purposes let’s call them “A” and “B”. I was banking on plan A because it was the least painful to execute but I just realized (now 4 days into the semester) that it was only a pipe dream…I won’t risk putting anyone to sleep with the details but suffice it to say the timing just wouldn’t work out. So back to plan “B”, which is (I am doing some serious sacrificial praying) hopefully going to be feasible with a minimum of pain. So. Now I just have to work out a million details, file my grad papers, line up a bunch of research, write a literature review, and start figuring out the details of execution. Joy.
So all of this has kind of put me into full-blown freak-out mode the last couple weeks. Uncle Bubba has been acting as my ad hoc unofficial therapist/sounding-board on the go (mostly because he is the one that is always available via phone/text/yahoo lately — sorry UB!). Aside from the academic challenges, I am seriously worried about the reality of student loans pressing in upon me; my ability to find better-paying work one way or another; and getting our general current finances in some kind of order because quite frankly, 2009 and 10 kinda kicked our asses and the ducks are coming home to roost. It’s all a mess right now, but operating under certain constraints makes it hard to plan for improvement. I think this will all become a little clearer once I have escaped from grad school and can get my head screwed back on properly for other important life-details.
We did succumb to one little pre-semester fun hurrah; since we minimized Christmas expenses and whatnot this year…we took a little MLK weekend trip to Vegas, just the three of us. It was actually quite a fun trip, althought very different from recent Vegas adventures because Gmom wasn’t there this time to offload some of the kid-duties. So a lot less drinking/gambling/related shenanigans, but more family-based adventures. K had a great time.
Have to put a shout-out to my awesome hubby for all his recent support, patience, and general steadiness in my life at a time when it feels like everything else is wobbling on its axis. Over the last couple days he has been painstakingly working on our @#$)(#!& master shower, so that I can finally be reunited with blisteringly hot morning showers which have more water pressure than a dog peeing on a bush. He also took on the Dad-ariffic task of taking the little genius out to buy her Long-Awaited-Tap-Shoes. She is THRILLED and tomorrow’s dance class ought to be a TOTAL hoot. Oh and he has lately been playing frequent victim customer to K’s “barber shop” ministrations. All this during a week when his dear daughter jokingly suggested replacing him with 1) a puppet or 2) a robot. (!)
On the other family WIN front, we finally got the little genius in to see the dentist this week, which had been somewhat delayed for a variety of reasons. As first dental visits go, it was pretty positive and she seemed to enjoy it overall. For my peace of mind, I am so relieved to find out that the nightly teeth-grinding isn’t going to ruin her life, and her overall dental health is A-OK perfect right now. Hooray!
OK as exciting as all that is — on to the mea culpa. I had great intentions (and we ALL know where those are used for paving…) to get around to fixing the blog design layout and whatnot, and get some serious type-time in over the break, but somehow the allure of DVR and Wii frisbee golf and staying up all night doing nothing meaningful got the better of me. So. Maybe not so much on the redesign and playing catch-up, given that my next three weeks of academic/work life are probably going to be sheer hell, BUT I am planning to try to commit to one post a week this semester, because I feel a lot more sane and happy when I get some of the junk in my head OUT. Fortunately (?) you all are along for the ride!
So, onward and upward; on the road again; ready-steady-GO; once more into the fray….yada, yada, yada.
Pizza’s here!
Sniff, Sob
Sadly, I am just stopping by on my way to do a homework assignment. (Alas, what is this world coming to, anyway?!) The whole month of September went by without a single post. It makes my soul hurt, people, really. But that unstoppable hamster wheel of grad school and general life insanity have kept me from the keyboard. I will really try to get my shit together soon and back on track, because I seriously need the therapeutic release of blogging my guts out. How about that for a really weird sentence of mixed metaphors?
