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Dinosaur Milk
Tonight, while her frazzled, exhausted parents tried to relax for a few and watch a DVR’ed episode of No Reservations…
K: MOM! where is my baby’s bottle?
CM: I have no idea where it is…it might have already been packed with the other doll toys.
K: awwww! but my baby is hungry (she dragged her little doll cradle into the living room and had one lonely, hungry little doll marooned in there with no blankets, pillows, or other baby-doll accoutrements)
CM: sorry honey but even if it isn’t packed, I have no idea where it is and it is really late so I’m not going to go hunting for it tonight.
K: awwwwwwwww (dramatic slumped shoulders and sad face)
CM: why don’t you find something to pretend is a bottle?
she runs in and out of the room a few times with various toys; I wasn’t paying close attention at this point.
K: MOM! hold my baby, I need to get her milk ready.
CM: um, ok…
K: good job, now let me hold her and you can feed her. (she hands me a toy dinosaur and instructs me to insert the tip of the tail in the baby’s mouth to give her some dinosaur milk)
CM: hahahahaha dinosaur milk?!
Lay Some Eggs
When I came home from work the other day, my daughter had turned into a dinosaur. (this happens pretty frequently, actually.) She ambushed me in the bathroom and the conversation went like this:
K: raawwwrrrr I am a dinosaur.
CM: cool, are you a hungry dinosaur? it’s almost dinner time.
K: yes, hungry dinosaur but I have to lay some eggs first.
CM: ummm?
K: here is my nest, I have to climb on top and lay my eggs and wait for them to hatch.
she piled one of those large 48-packs of toilet paper on the floor and then put her footstool on top of that, and then sat on the footstool.
CM: oh, ok then. how many eggs are you going to lay, mommy dinosaur?
K: three!
CM: wow, big family.
K: oh no! I feel something cracking under me! I think my eggs are hatching.
CM: oh how exciting.
K: look! now I have three baby dinosaurs and they are running all over [insert random squeaking noises]
CM: congratulations!
K: thanks! oh look, one of the babies ran in your shirt!
CM: (peering into shirt) shoosh baby dinosaur, go back to your mommy!
K: (hysterical laughter)
CM: (peering into shirt) you have to go back to your mommy and have some dinner!
K: (hysterical laughter) he is still in there!
CM: (lifting shirt a little) can you please come over here and tell your baby to get out of my shirt?
K: (hysterical laughter and poking her head in my shirt) come (giggle) out (giggle) baby dinosaur! (giggle giggle)
CM: thank you.
K: now my babies have to go to dinosaur preschool, a special school just for dinosaurs!
CM: oh really?
K: can I borrow this towel? (she grabbed the lone hand towel from the rack)
CM: umm, sure.
K: great! this is how we make a school…
she flops down on the bathroom rug and begins painstakingly laying out and smoothing the hand towel
K: ok the school is ready, come on little dinosaurs [insert mass squeaking sounds]
CM: nice!
K: ok baby dinosaurs, bye! see you after school.
Thus we were finally finished with the whole laying, hatching, nurturing, and schooling process and were able to leave the bathroom and proceed with the night’s activities.
Don’t Fall In!
Well, summer is officially here with daily highs hovering around the 105° mark and converting our rental house from “deeply uncomfortable” to “personality altering”. The inside temperature most of the day maintained around a steady 86° (with the air running full time mind you) in most of the house, but held around 90-92° in the playroom/office.
I feel like one of those house plants that hasn’t been watered for a month–limp, sagging, curling around the edges, and wholly unappealing. Not to mention that it makes it nearly impossible to get anything done around the house but migrate from fan to fan and try not to think too hard (it causes extra sweating). We went out to pick up some lunch at one point, and while driving around town with the van AC at nuclear blast, went through a total metamorphosis to chipper, motivated, talkative, happy person. Upon returning home, I went back to dehydrated slug, slowly slithering through the house in a daze. Anyway, needless to say we are waiting for the AC maintenance guy to come and recharge the craptacular noisebox outside and hopefully get it cool enough in here to survive another 6 weeks.
Fortunately K was pretty tolerant (hot and wilted herself) and didn’t look for too much parental play today. She seems to be enjoying the break from school, at least for another day or two and then I’m sure the “when does school come back” chant will begin. She did successfully poo in the potty once today (hooray!) but then later, forgot she was wearing regular undies and peed all over both my arm and couch’s. oh well.
I was highly impressed with her eating a relatively healthy and well-balanced dinner though…buttered toast, half of a big granny smith apple, and low-fat vanilla yogurt. Score mommy!
She has always had a big thing for dinosaurs and we have a ridiculous number of dinosaur toys, jammies, shirts, and related paraphernalia. We have big dinosaurs, teeny tiny dinosaurs, a huge sit-on dinosaur, soft stuffed dinosaurs, you name it. Anyway, today during the slug fest she went and emptied out the bin of plastic medium sized dinosaurs and took them in the bathroom to play on the “grand canyon” aka the edge of the tub. While FF was getting her in bed, I went to put some dirty towels in the laundry room and as I passed through the bathroom, discovered most of the participants still clinging on to the edge for dear life.
What could this mean?
GODZILLA MOMMY
I got home from work tonight and after the usual noisy preschool greeting routine, I finally made my way into the playroom to say hi to FF. Where I stumbled into a Teeny Tiny Animal Massacre (TTAM™). I’m far too sick and tired to download and post an actual picture, but I will try to give a visual: imagine about 100 miniature creatures (dinosaurs, sea life, and farm animals), each about the size of a lego, piled and scattered in a 3-square-foot area of carpet.
K had placed a small selection of the survivors on my desk and immediately asked me if I wanted to “play dinosaurs” and upon my ready agreement, she picks one out of of the pack and hands it to me and says:
“here is the Mommy dinosaur. It is the BIGGEST and SCARIEST of all. RAWR!”
