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OMG…Exactly!
I was too startled by the psychic exactness of the following quote (as related to my last post topic) to think up a better post title tonight….
From Financial Times, via Slate:
It seems to be a challenge in this season for even the more sensible parents among us, even those who really have better things to do, not to fall prey to the prevailing fantasy that if your child is rejected from one of these desirable and enlightened places, he or she will be destined for a life of drug addiction, grand theft auto, or general exile.
It’s a lovely feeling, to have your craziness validated in such an eloquent way.
Sniff, Sob
Sadly, I am just stopping by on my way to do a homework assignment. (Alas, what is this world coming to, anyway?!) The whole month of September went by without a single post. It makes my soul hurt, people, really. But that unstoppable hamster wheel of grad school and general life insanity have kept me from the keyboard. I will really try to get my shit together soon and back on track, because I seriously need the therapeutic release of blogging my guts out. How about that for a really weird sentence of mixed metaphors?
Tantrums
Mine, not those of my dear daughter.
It’s always a little disheartening to realize that despite being a rational, responsible, focused, so-called “adult”, there are some points in life where you have all the finesse of a two-year old. Admittedly, my tantrums are not outwardly focused, foot-kicking-screaming-spitting events of glory, but rather the temporary inner loss of all semblance of rationality, patience, and sanity. In my experience, usually these events are enabled by an ongoing bout of sleep deprivation. This is a good argument for naps, in my opinion.
There seem to be only two primary triggers for these momentary lapses in emotional-mental functionality: homework (curse you, graduate school!) or being pushed to a fraction of my last nerve by my dear little genius daughter.
Anyway, the kiddo has not been sleeping well again and really, I’m so done with this 4+ year war. Last night, she randomly stayed awake in my bed fidgeting, playing, flopping, wiggling, kicking, squirming, and generally making a nuisance of herself to her poor, exhausted parents who kept desperately trying to go to sleep. Who am I to begrudge another person’s occasional nighttime restlessness? Yet when THEIR restlessness keeps me awake, it is pretty hard to be endlessly tolerant. Cue the internal, silent, temper tantrum in which I found myself indulging in unrealistic fantasies involving locked bedrooms, duct tape, and sound-proof walls. I know, this really shows a total loss of parenting mojo, but what the hell…we all have our dark moments, I guess.
This experience made me remember another tantrum along the same general trajectory when she was around 7 or 8 months old, during which I kept tearily arguing with GMom about my hopelessly sleep-defective child.
I guess the worst part is that I don’t really have a solution. It seems all or nothing at this point…keep to the same routine and hope she smooths out again, or wage war and force her to sleep by herself all the time. It’s not that I don’t have the moxie to force the issue and make it happen; but I don’t know if I have the moxie to deal with the guilt over crushing her spirit and ignoring her needs related to this issue. Yeah I know, she’d get over it eventually, but for some reason, she seems to desperately need the closeness and reassurance of snuggling with us. What is the trade-off or outcome of crushing that need? My instincts so far have led me to respect her need, at the cost of my own sleep quality (and thus, sanity) but after nights like last night, I can’t help but think it’s almost time to go bad-cop-mommy.
It’s One of Those Nights…
…when you offer to cook dinner (yes, this only happens once or twice a year) and are so non-functional that you barely pull it off. Even something simple like chili and cornbread. Not even from-scratch cornbread, but gimpy corn muffin mix.
…you are pretty sure that you’ve instructed your child to GIVE THE CAT A BREAK ALREADY at least 9,230,201 times and yet there she is, again, picking the poor beast up and carrying it around. At least Cookie is incredibly tolerant of kids and does not get upset or scared, but still.
…you remember to give your kid a bath, and get jammies on them, but somehow forget to give them their bedtime milk and have them brush their teeth. (can anyone say “PARENTAL FAIL,” here please…) In my defense, she’s a lot younger than her old tired parents and should have reminded one of us.
…your child soaks one entire half of your body during said bath, while practicing invisible kickball in the tub full of water. Then, to add insult to injury, laughs at your dripping clothes.
…you consider doing homework, but just the very thought of it nauseates you.
…getting up early the next morning sounds so annoying that you seriously consider just staying up all night.
Out of Control
The last couple weeks have been nuts. It’s official: I hate school. However, as I learned the other night, I can’t say stuff like that out loud, because my little sponge is LISTENING ALL THE TIME. Thank god she can’t read yet. Oh crap…
Anyway, more to follow in the next couple days, but here is a funny, courtesy of Auntie Carole (I have this completely unproven theory that a crazed stay-at-home Dad set this picture up):
Swine Flu Paranoia Gets Out of Hand
