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Regarding Mothers Day:

As your insane, nearly-graduated, slacker daughter par excellence, you have sadly not received any timely spring flowers nor pastel, earnest greeting card tasked with conveying all those deep mother-daughter sentiments which usually get obstinately stuck somewhere just below my larynx. I’m sorry to say that easy sentimentality and expressiveness just aren’t on my list of strengths.

Nonetheless, I do not want the occasion to pass without recognition of some sort, because while I AM bad at expressing such notions at times, the thoughts and feelings carry on. Thus, in lieu of overpriced/overcrowded brunches, flowers which die too quickly, or greeting cards which inadequately convey complex emotions, I decided to take a different tack and write a public blog post to revel in the happy fact that you are my mother. Hopefully, this doesn’t end up too weird for either one of us.

The first framing of my thoughts starts with a simple but profound realization: I have always taken your presence in my life for granted. I began to understand this most acutely after becoming a mother myself, but as time goes by the fact stares me in the face with greater frequency. This is not necessarily about the things you do or have done, or even the unique person that you are, but basically a burgeoning awareness of the gentle, invisible cocooning that those of us lucky enough to have great moms carry with us at all times. As Meghan O’Rourke observes:

A mother, after all, is your entry into the world. She is the shell in which you divide and become a life. Waking up in a world without her is like waking up in a world without sky: unimaginable.

So I suppose this is the actual ideal order of things; for our children to have such magical and positive parental relationships that they are able to take them for granted. But especially as I mature as a parent, I want you to know that I do recognize and value your presence (and comforting cocooning when called for) in my life. So much of what I know and who I am today was shaped and impacted by you; always for the better.

I believe some of this is best observed in the ways in which we are different; in the ways that, even within our adult relationship, we totally mystify (and yes, sometimes admittedly annoy!) each other at times. Amazingly, this does not dominate or negate the broader picture of our relationship. What a rare thing, to have someone in your corner that respects and embraces your fundamental differences as much as your similarities!

I guess the only thing left is to try and convey how much your endless cheerleading, affirmations, positivism, listening, support, and amazing mom-ness has always meant to me, and always will. There really aren’t sufficient words to adequately describe this…whether stuck below my larynx or floating in cyberspace, so hopefully you are able to use your awesome motherly powers to just understand what I mean.

Happy Mother’s Day….I love you always!