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OMG! Run faster!

*not actually me!

First, take a moment and look at these date tags, will you? NINE days since the last post.  This is totally unacceptable and management will address the problem forthwith.  Well, hopefully.

Yes, as this picture illustrates, I am back on the hamster wheel of grad school again.   The break went by in approximately 5 nanoseconds, I think.  (Vegas’ll do that to a person, I hear).  Even though the semester technically started a week ago, I find myself floundering and completely at a loss for motivation, comprehension, organization, and any other applicable tion‘s you can think of.   On Sunday night, I did the first assignment for one of my classes and it should have been easy in theory but in practice it took me about 4 hours, and included an elegant mental breakdown, 2 temper tantrums (on the inside [mostly]), and a very, VERY strong impulse to throw my mouse through the window just to hear some kind of satisfying breakage. Yeah, welcome back to academia!

Sooooo, yeah, I’ve been a in a marvelous frame of mind and lots of fun to be around lately.  Just ask FF!  On second thought, don’t ask him.  Work, too, has been pretty nutty, although, not as bad as some semester launches.  I attribute the manageable-nut-factor to my awesome coworkers.  (and possibly I should also recognize here the fine contributions of my good friend,  Beer.)

So anyway, this is another one of those “whatever pops into my head with no organization or coherent theme” posts.

K has not been the best sleeper lately.  After 4+ years of dealing with unholy sleep disruptions, I’d like to say at this point that becoming a parent is FULL of false advertising.  When they are all tiny, cute, and fit in one arm, you tell yourself that all the sleep deprivation is worth it, and after all, they’ll sleep through the night eventually, right?  FALSEFALSEFALSE!!! Woe is me.

I have to proclaim something very important: vanilla oreos dipped in Nutella might be the most delicious thing on Earth.  So delicious in fact that I will not be able to buy them ever again, because merely looking at the package is approximately 200 calories.  This is most definitely what I want for dinner.  Sigh.

Just when I am about to pull my freaking hair out over my daughter’s sudden shift to demanding parent-interactive play CONSTANTLY, a $6 investment in a pretend-pizza-set kept her busy for 2 days straight!  What the heck?  I mean, she always used to be really good about creative, imaginative pretend and/or toy play, and I always felt we had a really positive mix of solo and interactive play.  Lately though, it has been Mom/Dad/K2 or nothing but complaints.  I don’t get it.  Is this a normal developmental shift?  Geez kid, go entertain yourself already and let us take down the Christmas decorations!

Now that the dining room area is painted, mostly deboxed, and we have an actual table and chairs, we have started eating at the table like (mostly) civilized folks.  Thus, I am teaching K to set the table.  So far, she thinks it is a lot of fun; especially when it comes to lighting or blowing out the candles.  I wonder, am I starting a pyro here?

My self Christmas present this year was my ridiculously cute Coach bag.  FF, on the other hand, has been lusting after a Keurig single-cup coffee brewer for quite awhile, so that was his self-gift this year.  I expected to get indifferent service out of it, just as I have viewed any other coffee apparatus in the past.  Well, that was the past.  I’m now a slavish fanboi for this thing.  Go figure.  But hey, it brews perfect single cups of coffee, tea, or cocoa in mere seconds, directly into my travel mugs and there are no distracting measurements, clean up, filters, blah blah blah.  It’s ridiculously awesome. 

/Soapbox:

Dear Ghost Whisperer / JLH:

I feel that some of the storylines this season have been waning in quality.  For example, who had the great idea of digitally rendering the “Shiny people” on the cheap, thus ending up with something that looked like the love child of Casper the ghost and the Stay-Puft man?  Also bear witness to the oddness of sending JLH inside an online virtual world avatar. Please understand that I hold you to no specific intellectual standards, but there is only so much ridiculousness that I can tolerate in the name of my JLH crush.  I hate to bring this up and all, but I just saw the preview footage for next Friday and all I can say is….couldn’t you spend a little more on those glowing orange contact lenses?  And hasn’t the cheesy demonic possession thing been DONE enough already? I’m really ok with numbing, formulaic regularity in your episodes, so please consider this my request to skip the contact lenses, avatars, and marshmellow people forthwith.    /Soapbox off

OK, one more last thought: DAMN, some days I wish I could have gone from pregnancy to a 5 year old in the blink of an eye with nary a scratch, saggy boob, or misplaced hair.

Chocolate Bars

Cookie's Crazy Face

This is Her Crazy Face

Well, last night I was on the phone talking to Uncle Esteban the Magnificent, and unwittingly used the word “Halloween” in the conversation.  K immediately perked up and started going NUTS asking questions about Halloween.  She remembers the party we had last year, to some extent, but this is the first year that she really “gets” the whole holiday concept.   We talked about costumes, and trick-or-treating, and pumpkins, oh my.  She finally seemed satisfied and I went off to take a brief nap before tackling my homework.

Now, it just so happens that she recently got a trick-or-treating bucket as a prize from a restaurant.  At the end of my naptime, she started running in to the bedroom to wake me up and chat with me (she does this alot and sometimes will actually “play” with me while I doze.  This usually entails me holding some sort of toy and mumbling dialogue at her and then she carries the game while I sleep through it–but it does give me weird dreams sometimes.)

Anyway, a few minutes later, she came running in very excited saying she was going trick or treating.  She had her bucket and demanded that I put some pretend “candy” in there.  She then went to FF for a handout.  Then she came back to the foot of my bed (where Cookie was sleeping soundly) and asked the cat for some candy.  She grabbed the cat’s sleeping paw and held it over the bucket to simulate handing out candy.  She then repeated the rounds about 2 or 3 more times.  Me>FF>Cookie.  And then, she changed the game a bit.  She wanted me to tell her exactly what kind of pretend candy I was giving her.  I don’t even remember what I said, but it satisfied her and she went off to collect from FF.

Then she came back in the bedroom to hit up the cat for more loot. 

K: trick or treat!  (shuffling noises)

K: MOM! guess what Cookie gave me?

CM: what?

K: CHOCOLATE BARS!  

CM: (at least she didn’t say “tootsie rolls”) oh….how…..nice…. (unable to get certain mental images out of my head)

K: yes! and they have little peanuts in them and everything!  yum!

CM: faaantastic.

K: what does “fantastic” mean?

CM: that you don’t understand sarcasm.

K: huh?

Sigh.

Setting: CM trying to be diligent and get a few things packed in the bedroom (AKA the coolest room in the house), and moving at slug speed.

K: Mom!  I’m going to be a big scary dinosaur and you have to be a good little horse and run away, OK?

CM: must…keep….packing…

K:  MOM, ok you be the big angry dinosaur and I’ll be a little horse.

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: alright, I’m going in my dinosaur cave (aka the closet) and you pretend to be scared when I come out.

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: you be a big grouchy bear and tell me that I can’t sleep here on your bed.

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: I’m a lion cub and you can be the mommy lion with claws.

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: can you build me a dinosaur house from the box?

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: is it time to play yet?

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: I know, I’ll play hide and seek under the sheets and you can find me.

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: can I play with that flamingo you are packing?

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: can I help?

CM: must…keep….packing…

K: what is that?  where is it going? why are you packing? why does it go in the box? why are you wrapping it?

CM: Sigh.

Dinosaur Milk

Tonight, while her frazzled, exhausted parents tried to relax for a few and watch a DVR’ed episode of No Reservations…

K: MOM! where is my baby’s bottle?

CM: I have no idea where it is…it might have already been packed with the other doll toys.

K: awwww! but my baby is hungry (she dragged her little doll cradle into the living room and had one lonely, hungry little doll marooned in there with no blankets, pillows, or other baby-doll accoutrements)

CM: sorry honey but even if it isn’t packed, I have no idea where it is and it is really late so I’m not going to go hunting for it tonight.

K: awwwwwwwww (dramatic slumped shoulders and sad face)

CM: why don’t you find something to pretend is a bottle?

she runs in and out of the room a few times with various toys; I wasn’t paying close attention at this point.

K: MOM! hold my baby, I need to get her milk ready. 

CM: um, ok…

K: good job, now let me hold her and you can feed her. (she hands me a toy dinosaur and instructs me to insert the tip of the tail in the baby’s mouth to give her some dinosaur milk)

CM: hahahahaha dinosaur milk?!

Juggling Coconuts

coconut-bra

Time: 11:30 PM
Setting: the playroom
Mood: hot, tired, and frazzled  (parents)  / exuberant (evil-genius child)

K: MOM!  cover your head up with your arms!  the coconuts are falling and they are going to splat on your head!

CM: huh?!

K: the coconuts are falling from the trees and we have to cover up so they don’t land on our heads!

CM: um, ok…  (covers head) am I safe now?

K: yes, great! now let’s try and catch one…  (frantically waving arms above head) I got one!

CM: ok, now what?

K: now we need to catch some more so that we can juggle them!!!

CM: HUH?

K: see, like me, we have to juggle the coconuts for the coconut circus!

CM: (contemplatively) I’ve heard of a flea circus, a traditional circus and a circus maximus, but never a coconut circus….

K: you have to catch some now and juggle them!

CM: what?! I don’t know how to juggle!

K: like this! (cupping hands and rhythmically alternating them up and down)

CM: um, ok, like this? (mimicking the air juggle maneuver)

K: yes, that’s the spirit!

CM to FF: did she seriously just say ‘that’s the spirit’ to me?

FF: (cheerfully) yup!

CM: go show daddy how to juggle.

K: like this daddy, you have to take the coconuts and juggle them like this, in your hands!

FF: well I’ve never juggled before but I can try…like this? (cupping hands and lifting together, at the same time, visually simulating a bra, and giving me the eyebrows)

CM: OMG! you are not doing that!

FF: what?! I’m juggling!

K: good job daddy, that’s the spirit, keep juggling!

CM: hysterical laughter

FF: this is going in a blog post now, isn’t it?

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