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Bedbugs, Brain Collapse, & Birthdays

Long time, no type.

Mainly, I’ve been riding the wave of gleeful post-homework life and spending very little computer time doing anything that requires significant cognitive processing. Not to mention that the last few weeks at work have been tremendously busy, and insanely stressful what with top-down administrative reorganizations, severe budget cuts, and the like. So needless to say, I haven’t been in much of a bloggy frame of mind.

However, I feel the need to issue a report on our grand vacation in early June; a whirlwind trip that started with my #1 niece’s high school graduation and ended with a crazy 5-day stint in…..you guessed it…..Las Vegas. The Vegas leg of the trip was a long-awaited family celebratory extravaganza to ring in a host of decade-centric birthdays (ahem, yes, I wasn’t the only one with a milestone this year.) One of my nephews, my brother, and my dear hubby all hit “decade” birthdays between mid April and mid June. So naturally we all felt the need to hoop it up in sin city.

But before I get ahead of myself too far, let me reel back a bit and describe the first segment of the trip. My dear eldest niece, so lovely in body and spirit, was graduating with honors from a tremendously rigorous International Baccalaureate-affiliated school the first weekend of June. I was very excited to attend, particularly to hear her speak at the graduation ceremony. However, seeing as said ceremony was scheduled to begin quite early in the morning, at roughly a 2-hour drive from our house, we opted to drive up the Friday before and meet up with GMom to share a hotel room.

Considering that we also had to plan ahead/pack for the Vegas trip, get the pets settled, load the car, feed the kid, and a million other things after an already-long day of work, we didn’t get out of town until almost 8pm, which put our arrival into a rather late-ish timeframe. After unloading our overnight gear and securing a late night snack courtesy of the only open business in the area — Circle K — I started prepping the little genius for bed. I left her in the hotel bathroom to marinate in the shower for a few moments while I went to unpack her jammies and get the bed ready. Upon reaching for a pillow, what did I see but a tiny little bug on the pillow!

Now, not that I travel all that much, but you’d have to live in a deep cave anymore these days not to be aware of ye olde modern hotel bedbug epidemic. Being a bonafide bug-o-phobe already, of course my mind leapt to the possibility of bedbugs, although the little specimen was very tiny. I asked FF and Uncle Bubba (also sharing the room) to give it an eyeball, and in the course of examining that and other pillows, they located a much larger and more suspicious looking critter, which we caught in a plastic cup. At that point, with frantic smartphone image Googling underway, we felt rather alarmed and certain that we hit the unlucky jackpot of a bedbug-infested room.

And honestly, the front desk wasn’t all that much help…they offered to move us to a different room, but that wasn’t very reassuring considering that all of us had horrific images of bringing home our very own bedbug buddies to our respective domiciles, never to be pest-free again. This was particularly unsettling to FF and I, considering that a few years ago we suffered through an epic, almost yearlong flea war at our old crappy apartment. And believe me, we tried everything, to no avail. Moving out WAS the final solution.  So needless to say, we are pretty particularly picky when it comes to bug issues.

So our troops did a quick huddle and we decided to relocate to another hotel (by this time nearly 1am), yet unfortunately the only affordable place reasonably nearby was a 30 minute drive away. Ugh. However, despite our collective exhaustion, this seemed a better option than potentially offering ourselves up as blood donors to the native fauna. The little genius was taking everything in stride pretty well, despite some confusion and tiredness. We repacked our overnight gear and shuffled back down to the van.  Unfortunately however, during the baggage and kid-loading insanity, we managed to lock a) the kid b) all our stuff and c) the keys, snugly in the van.

Oh shit.

So yes, friends and neighbors, we stood outside a bedbug-ridden hotel in a sleepy small hamlet at 1am shouting instructions through a closed window to our frantically crying daughter on how to escape her snug, safe, 5-point carseat harness with the child-resistant latch so that she could unlock the van for us. Totally not one of my proudest moments. Fortunately the little genius is a trooper and she calmed down and persevered enough to get us out of the fiasco. After that, we hit the highway and about an hour later we all collapsed into an exhausted slumber.

So the management did call and talk to Gmom the next day (she had made the reservation) and were properly apologetic and all that crap, issuing refunds and free night coupons ad nauseam. And a few days after that, they emailed a copy of their pest company report, predictably denying any bedbug issues but admitting the presence of some “carpet beetles”. Well, I appreciate them sharing the report and all but I gotta say that I’m still not convinced and I don’t think they actually examined the critter we captured and showed to the front desk staff.

SO, needless to say the next morning came very early and as for my little family pod, we reluctantly decided to skip the main ceremony and let the little genius continue to get some much-needed rest. We did attend the post-ceremony graduation party and it was a lot of fun, particularly when my niece “unwrapped” a very exciting present: a car! K thought that was just about the coolest and most exciting thing she’d ever heard of, and I’m pretty sure she will not forget it, and thus expectantly hold it over her parents’ heads until her own high school graduation. Sigh.

So with that dramatic report out of the way, I’m happy to say that the Vegas phase of the trip was tons of fun and very smooth sailing with no buggy or incompetent parenting episodes. We bowled, we saw movies, we gambled, we swam, we played a lot of cards in the sumptuous top-floor suite that K2 & family occupied, and generally a great time was had by all. The young guys (uncle bubba, my #1 nephew and #2 nephew) camped out in the 2nd suite bedroom and turned it into an X-box blazin’, Dr. Pepper guzzling, stinky man cave. They loved it.

FOUR LAYERS!

The guys went to see Cirque’s new Elvis show one night, and the next night the girls went to see Menopause: The Musical. Which was, um, quite an experience and has given me a slightly worried perspective on my future hormonal event horizon. (Is it too early to already be experiencing the whole brain collapse thing? ’cause lately….) Seriously though, the show was quite a laugh and a lot of fun to see with Gmom and Aunt D (K2′s mom).

Speaking of Gmom, she brought some serious magic to the table and managed to somehow make an amazingly elaborate cake in a hotel mini-kitchen for us birthday folks! Totally awesome. (and delicious!)

All in all, a trip (and birthday) to remember!

All’s Well

meditate(Subtitle:  I WIN!)

Well, we’re back.  K was hardly even phased to see us, although she was very animated and LOUDLY explanatory about all the things she had been up to during our lengthy two-and-a-half day separation period. 

Judging by the stories she told, the yard full of outside toys (oh yes, Gmom lives in the temperate northlands where it is not 118° by day–I’m sure K barely knew how to function at first), and the kitchen full of kid-snacks, I am thinking she had a pretty darn good time. 

And our daughter-retrieval mission allowed us to enjoy a couple days of non-scorching weather too, while she flitted around outside between the play pool, her patch o’ dirt, and the bubble-blowing paraphernalia. 

So, you doubters who shall not be named…I WIN!  No guilt here, no crippling pangs of longing, or lost sleep! woohoo!  Gmom better look out…because FF and I could really, REALLY get used to this on a regular basis.  Just the opportunity to hear yourself think without interruption for 5 minutes…wow.  Driving up there on Friday, the car was so darn quiet, with no kid-DVDs, no bizarre/amusing chatter, no “I have to go potty REALLY BAD!”, and no “what street are we on NOW?” — well, the picture at top pretty much sums up how I felt about all that.

And no scooby snacks for Uncle J for slipping in one last sly little verbal hit–I called him on the way home, and he casually says “oh, you are actually bringing K home with you?”.  I have a name for you in mind, dear brother, but I am certain that if our mother read it here, she’d probably revoke all my child-escapee privileges for the rest of my life. 

And thus, me = discretion, valor, blah blah blah.

On the Road Again…

LasVegas-pano_

Heat-induced lethargy and general ambivalence have ruined my motivation for blogging (or doing anything else) the last couple days.

And, oh yes, still no word on the house thing.  Urg.  So we are casting it out to the universe and taking a few days to go to VEGAS and celebrate the 4th, and our wedding anniversary, and well, does anyone really ever NEED an excuse to go to Vegas?

So, kids, wish us luck with the evil genius.  And yes, we are bringing the portable potty chair for any contingencies.  Hopefully the break will recharge our batteries to keep fighting the good fight.

Roadside Toileting and Other Adventures

road trip

Well, we had to make an IT-ninja run up north last weekend to help Gmom and Uncle Bubba with their cantankerous PC.  Yes, FF and I are the family techies on call.  It has been a busy few days all around, with very little time for intellectually stimulating activities (cough) such as blogging.

As usual, doing anything with K made it quite an adventure but my poor brain cells are too wimpy to elaborate tonight.  Stay tuned for the gory details, coming to a TV near you later this week.

(The part of Homer was brilliantly played by yours truly, CluelessMom.  And yes, I sincerely wanted to wring her neck, ala Bart.)

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